Wednesday, April 6, 2011
2 Months In
Hey, it's been a while since I posted anything out here. That's because I've been so busy. I've sort of plateaued in my weight loss efforts at a total of 30lbs. The good news is, my belt is on the tightest notch. So keep on truckin'.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Upping the Ante
All right, I've got this diet thing going just fine. I haven't eaten anything bad for me in significant quantities since I started my diet. Now it's time to do some fine-tuning.
I met with a personal trainer at Lifetime Fitness and bought their metabolic package. Apparently, what happens is they're going to test my metabolism while I'm rested with no food in my stomach, and then they'll perform the same test with food in my stomach. That will determine how my body burns calories just by living average, everyday life. The tests will also measure what my rate of caloric burn is while exercising.
Once the testing is complete, they're going to program that data into this Cadillac of a heart monitor that I just bought. This little contraption is going to tell me exactly what I'm burning as I workout. The trainer is going to setup a specific workout regiment tailored just for me. They are aware of my quest to lose as much weight as possible, as quickly as possible.
Then I'll meet with a nutritionist. I'm not expecting this brain wizard to tell me anything I don't already know. I live on a diet of salads, nuts, clementines, and string cheese. There's a very modest amount of meat for protein's sake, but also because I just don't care about eating anymore. Food has been reduced to something I have to eat as a means in which to lose weight.
I'm going to be straight up with all of you. Spinach tastes like spinach, clementines taste like clementines, and beats taste like beats... But a 16oz New York strip from Manny's tastes like euphoria... The same kind of euphoria that comes from having great, orgasmic sex, obligatory blow job included.
Simply put, eating of any kind isn't fun anymore. Maybe that's a good thing, I don't know.
I met with a personal trainer at Lifetime Fitness and bought their metabolic package. Apparently, what happens is they're going to test my metabolism while I'm rested with no food in my stomach, and then they'll perform the same test with food in my stomach. That will determine how my body burns calories just by living average, everyday life. The tests will also measure what my rate of caloric burn is while exercising.
Once the testing is complete, they're going to program that data into this Cadillac of a heart monitor that I just bought. This little contraption is going to tell me exactly what I'm burning as I workout. The trainer is going to setup a specific workout regiment tailored just for me. They are aware of my quest to lose as much weight as possible, as quickly as possible.
 |
| Taking this workout shit to the next level. |
Then I'll meet with a nutritionist. I'm not expecting this brain wizard to tell me anything I don't already know. I live on a diet of salads, nuts, clementines, and string cheese. There's a very modest amount of meat for protein's sake, but also because I just don't care about eating anymore. Food has been reduced to something I have to eat as a means in which to lose weight.
I'm going to be straight up with all of you. Spinach tastes like spinach, clementines taste like clementines, and beats taste like beats... But a 16oz New York strip from Manny's tastes like euphoria... The same kind of euphoria that comes from having great, orgasmic sex, obligatory blow job included.
Simply put, eating of any kind isn't fun anymore. Maybe that's a good thing, I don't know.
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Feeling the Burn
I have been tracking my calorie burns on the elliptical machine during my 65 minutes sessions.
03/10 - 754 calories burned
03/07 - 774 calories burned
03/03 - 744 calories burned
03/02 - 722 calories burned
Of course, I can't track the calories spent walking around on the cool down at the end of the workout, or while playing racquetball. I'll have to figure that one out.
03/10 - 754 calories burned
03/07 - 774 calories burned
03/03 - 744 calories burned
03/02 - 722 calories burned
Of course, I can't track the calories spent walking around on the cool down at the end of the workout, or while playing racquetball. I'll have to figure that one out.
Friday, March 11, 2011
Dieting Isn't All Bad
Checkout this massive 3 salad sampler combo. I got it over at Cafe Latte in St.Paul. Their soups and salads are legendary. The salad on the upper left was a squash and crab salad. On the right we've got a beat salad. On the bottom is a sesame.
I was unable to finish this lovely plate.
I was unable to finish this lovely plate.
Groceries and Oddities
The biweekly trip to the grocery store has become rather inexpensive thanks to my squirrel diet. That being said there are some oddities that I want to point out. But first, checkout my shopping cart! Doesn't it look healthy?
On to the marketing... Going to the dairy section at the grocery store, or at least Rainbow in St. Louis Park, essentially feels like going to a women only club. Let's see here, we've got an endless selection of yogurt designed for the opposite sex... Since it's not for me I'm not going to buy it. Yoplus, Probiotic, Activia; all guaranteed to help you regulate your whatever.
The previous was at Rainbow. However, I did pop in to Cub Foods here in the ghetto to pickup a few things. That and my buddy Jeff needed to do a full shopping trip and I was his ride. I stumbled upon Ugli fruit. Indeed, Ugli fruit is quite ugly. Then of course you have these miniature bananas. I guess somebody buys this stuff, otherwise they wouldn't have it. I wanted to try one exotic fruit so I could say I had tried it; I bought a papaya.
Once I got it home, it was a bit of a shock to me. The outside of the fruit smelled like a dirty jock strap marinated in garbage juice. Jeff cut it up, and the smell got worse. I thought Durian fruit was supposed to stick, not Papaya. Nope, I was wrong. It must taste good in order to make up for the foul scent. It tasted horrible. I took one bite and that was it. I gave Jeff the whole Papaya. Nasty!!
I had to scrub that cutting board real hard to get the stench off it.
 |
| All fresh food, nothing processed. |
On to the marketing... Going to the dairy section at the grocery store, or at least Rainbow in St. Louis Park, essentially feels like going to a women only club. Let's see here, we've got an endless selection of yogurt designed for the opposite sex... Since it's not for me I'm not going to buy it. Yoplus, Probiotic, Activia; all guaranteed to help you regulate your whatever.
 |
| Yogurt... Women only. |
The previous was at Rainbow. However, I did pop in to Cub Foods here in the ghetto to pickup a few things. That and my buddy Jeff needed to do a full shopping trip and I was his ride. I stumbled upon Ugli fruit. Indeed, Ugli fruit is quite ugly. Then of course you have these miniature bananas. I guess somebody buys this stuff, otherwise they wouldn't have it. I wanted to try one exotic fruit so I could say I had tried it; I bought a papaya.
 |
| Ugly, I mean Ugli fruit... |
 |
| Mini-bananas, why bother? |
Once I got it home, it was a bit of a shock to me. The outside of the fruit smelled like a dirty jock strap marinated in garbage juice. Jeff cut it up, and the smell got worse. I thought Durian fruit was supposed to stick, not Papaya. Nope, I was wrong. It must taste good in order to make up for the foul scent. It tasted horrible. I took one bite and that was it. I gave Jeff the whole Papaya. Nasty!!
 |
| Cub Foods papaya, tastes as bad as it smells. |
I had to scrub that cutting board real hard to get the stench off it.
March 7th, 1 Month Milestone
I weighed myself exactly one month after starting the personal program of mine. I have lost 22.8 pounds so far.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Lost 20 Pounds So Far
My actual starting weight was 255. I weighed myself yesterday and I came in at 234.6. I spent a couple hours at the gym yesterday, and plan on doing the same again today.
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